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Pad Thai sauce as splatter paint: a kitchen nightmare
One of my more epic spills: Pad Thai sauce across the floor and all over the wall.  You might ask, as Nate did, how?  I can only describe it as a sling shot effect.  I knocked one edge of the bowl into the counter, and suddenly, I was seeing red.
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the trajectory
The sauce hit the floor, the fridge, a pile of recyclables and lastly, the wall.
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it is permanently stained
Just call me Jackson Pollock.